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ChokeyGauge launched to measure Prison Satisfaction and “Voice of the Jailbird”

Blog by Ian Luck
February 14, 2018

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PRESS RELEASE: Directness BV, a company that measures customer satisfaction, announced today (1 April 2008) a new service named "ChokeyGauge" to extend its CustomerGauge range. Like CustomerGauge, ChokeyGauge will measure loyalty - although in this case it is less "Voice of Customer", more "Voice of Prisoner". The results will be shown in a new metric named "Net Perpetrator Score" (NPS) based on the industry standard Net Promoter® Score* (NPS).

"Following the tradition of surveys in the hotel business, we are delighted to launch a service for other, more travel-challenged members of society. They can vote on how likely they are to recommend their place of incarceration to other fellow cons, lags and jailbirds" said Adam Dorrell, Managing Director of Directness.

Directness was approached by a well-connected (but publicity shy) family wishing to have a common method of comparing standards in prisons. The sponsored survey was paid in advance by the Criminals Association for Standardisation and Harmonisation (CASH).

Avril Pfuhl, spokeswoman for the pressure group Justice for Obsessive Kleptomanics and Embezzlers said "Today marks a turning point for those ‘doing time'. Whether you are guest of the Hilton Hotel, or just of Her Majesty, customer feedback is valuable. Even if they have limited choices, feedback comments on hardness of beds, shower facilities, exercise options and food will surely improve conditions in ‘the ‘Big House' for returning inmates. And remember, a smile costs nothing."

A sample survey can be seen here, together with some selected comments from former inmates: ChokeyGauge

ChokeyGauge screen

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